Bereavement

Grief isn't something you get over, grief is something you go through.

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What is Bereavement?

The word bereavement is based on the word bereave, meaning “to take away or deprive, especially by death”. The first records of the word bereave come from before 900AD. Bereave is related to the word reave, which means “to rob”, which is how it can feel when someone dies – like that person has been robbed from you. Today the word bereavement is used to describe the period of grief and mourning we go through after someone close to us dies.

When someone you care about suddenly leaves your life, it’s not a case of taking time out to recover. Recovery suggests that you will emerge exactly the same as you were before. In reality, all of your experiences shape the person you are and experiencing the death of someone you care about often has the biggest impact. Bereavement is about trying to accept what happened, learning to adjust to life without that person, and finding a place to keep their memory alive while you try to get along as best you can.

Stages of Grief Can Include

Acceptance: Accepting that the loss has really happened. Even when prepared it is still a shock, without acceptance you may never really grieve properly.
Experiencing the pain that comes with grief: Including sorrow, longing (to see them), guilt, numbness, anger, hopelessness, loneliness, despair.
Adjusting to life without the person who died: Allow yourself to accept and release all the emotions. You will adjust to your new life.
Putting less emotional energy into the loss and more into your new place in life: You will always remember the person who dies, and may grieve their loss forever, however you will naturally “move on” and find a way to cope in your new place in life.

You May

Feel knocked off your feet by the emotions you are feeling.
Want to stay in bed all day.
Neglect yourself by not eating properly, looking after your health, appearance, and personal hygiene.
Not want to go on without your loved one.
Take it out on others through aggressive or passive-aggressiveness, sarcasm, or cynicism.
Experience reduced energy, motivation, and social interest.

This is all normal unless it continues for a long time. It may be time to look for support if this goes on for extended periods or